


The Art of Rebounding; Or, When You're Gay and He's Not

by JaysNarnia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Angst, Crushes, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stupid Teenage Boys in Love, Swearing, Terrible One Sided Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 08:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1421170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaysNarnia/pseuds/JaysNarnia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You like John Egbert and there’s not much else to say about it. It’s not some little crush that’s got you hung up more than clothes on a clothesline--No, it’s pretty goddamn close to love and it’s physically killing you. Honestly you don’t think you could be so selfish, wishing all the damn time about how much you fucking care for his ass. Nope, you like him a damn lot and it’s a shame." </p>
<p>A high school AU where Dave is horribly in love with his best friend. Stuff happens. Will Dave get his man??? Maybe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Art of Rebounding; Or, When You're Gay and He's Not

You like John Egbert and there’s not much else to say about it. It’s not some little crush that’s got you hung up more than clothes on a clothesline--No, it’s pretty _goddamn_ close to love and it’s physically killing you. Honestly you don’t think you could be so selfish, wishing all the damn time about how much you fucking care for his ass. Nope, you like him a damn lot and it’s a shame.

Sitting in dumb Algebra 2, you honestly can contemplate the whole goddamn universe if you wanted to, but your thoughts obviously go to Egbert. It’s _always_ John and it’s starting to really bum you out, which you guess is expected when you've had an unrequited crush for two years.

Each time you whine about it to Rose or Jade they always say not to get your hopes down and that “it’ll be ok dave!!” (Jade’s words obviously, not Rose’s.) And you want to believe them, you really do. But every time he makes a small comment about he thinks he may have a crush on a girl, or “Oh man Dave, look at her, she’s so pretty!” your heart shrivels up and dies a little inside. And it’s because you know everything _won’t_ work out for the best. This is reality, not some 13 year old’s wet dream about which band member or fictional character they want to get together. Then again, if everything were based off of fanfiction, being flamingly gay for your best friend would be widely accepted. And newsflash, it isn't.

Your self loathing slash daydreaming is rudely interrupted after your teacher calls on you about something you were supposed to be listening to in class. You blankly stare at her and she gets the message and acidly says that _some people_ should pay attention. You want to reply with some not so nice words, but you calm yourself and decide that paying attention would be best.

Thirty minutes later you’re happily out of that class and walking to lunch. Your lunch table is packed with the usual attendees: John’s happily talking to Jade and Veronica, with Karter piping up to put his points of view in; Eric and Felicity are arguing a bit over something Eric did while Neena’s RPing with Theresa; Eugene is just idly sitting there quietly as he tries to work up the courage to speak to Ariana while she reads her world history textbook for fun. Apparently Spencer had robotics club during lunch today, since he isn't here playing with Ariana's hair or doing anything couple-ish with her; Travis and Garrett were nowhere to be seen, but you vaguely remember Travis had some sort doctors appointment, and well, Garrett was always weirdly gone so it wasn't very surprising to you. Lastly, Rose was gone with Katherine because she was modeling for her AP Art final. They were mostly likely making out, and when you told that to Rose, she just gave you a knowing smirk that screams, "Well aren't you perceptive, dear cousin."

When you plop down your bag, John gives you a bright smile. It makes your stomach twist happily and you mentally curse at yourself.

“Hey Dave! Join the party, Jade was just telling me that the new _Star Wars_ were _way_ better than the old ones. I had to _politely_ say that the older ones were better.”

“But John, they had way better fighting scenes and graphics. And don’t forget about Darth Maul!”

“Yeah but the older ones are loved and cherished Jade, and Harrison Ford as Han Solo is fucking sweet, so you better _not_ talk.”

“You guys are talking out of your fucking asses here! Obviously _Star Wars_ is shit and so are most action movies. Sure the fucked up romance between Leia, Luke, and Solo was--”

“SHUT UP KARTER!” John and Jade both yell, which makes Veronica snicker. You roll your eyes and smirk lightly.

“Well god, it looks like the party hasn't started ‘till I walked in.” You lamely reference and John boos at you.

“Come on Dave, Ke$ha references were so 2010. Grow up man.”

You shrug, smirking a little wider and finally sit down.

The lunch period goes quickly, mostly with Jade and John arguing over which part of Star Wars was better, and Karter angrily telling them it was stupid. It finally ends up with Jade and Karter making out and Veronica making a sick noise and dragging John off to get a soda. So you’re stuck with two horny teenagers and a table full of people who are currently ignoring you. Awesome. The bell _finally_ rings which frees you from the awkward makeout fest, and pushes you to the next classes; AP Lit and Psychology.

Luckily enough you share both classes with your cousin Rose and her girlfriend Katherine, so most of it is spent with passing notes from one girl to another, since you were lucky enough to sit between them. And man, some of those notes were _steamy_ , even for you. It’d make a virgin blush, if any of you three were virgins.

Finally the day is over and you rush to your shared locker with Theresa, who is currently grinning widely at a flustered Karter. She greets you as she hears you approaching and you give her a faint “Sup.” in acknowledgement.

“I was just harassing Karter about what happened at lunch.” She giggles happily. “Apparently I was in the bathroom when they were swapping spit and I missed it! But Ariana recorded it on her phone so we have blackmail.” Karter looks like he’s about to blow a fuse and you let a hint of a smile out.

“Well shit TZ, I’d totally ask to see the video footage, but sadly that shit was in my face. It was totally like being at Sea World and being in the fucking splash zone. I was drenched from head to toe in saliva.” You deadpan, which makes Theresa cackle even louder. Karter goes even redder, especially when Jade arrives at your locker looking for him.

Jade practically has to drag away a fuming Karter when Theresa shows Jade the video (“Wow, my hair actually looks nice in it! Ariana did a nice job of filming there!”). You stand there shooting the shit with Theresa until John shows up.

“Dude, aren't we going to hang out today?” He arches an eyebrow and nudges you.

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming, I’m coming.” You wave goodbye to Theresa and walk off with John.

The walk is mostly John talking at you, which he does frequently. It doesn't really matter what the topic is, John just talks about it. Right now it’s about March Madness and you really do not give a rats ass about basketball, or any organized sport other than maybe ping-pong. He’s animatedly gesturing about, talking about his bracket being a total flop, and “How the hell did Wisconsin really make it to the final four?”. You’re not actually sure what a bracket is, but it must be high stakes or something actually important if John is so distressed about his being wrong. So you half listen to him and try to make it look like you’re listening to what he’s saying and nod and go “Mmhmm, right.” at all the right parts. But mostly you’re thinking. John doesn't seem to notice because when he’s off on tangents, he gets oblivious to the world. Or at least more so than he actually is. His ranting makes great background noise to help you focus, since you can’t work or think properly in complete silence.

Your thoughts go back to when you first liked John, ninth grade. You always thought you’d be straight, since your Bro was the ladies man himself. At the ripe age of nine you knew that those lady friends Bro kept inviting over for hangouts weren't just for talking about what TV shows they enjoyed and what they thought of LEGOs. Nope, by the age of nine you knew about sex, sadly. It wasn't really your fault for walking in on Bro and some chick he brought over. The TV went out, and Spongebob’s yellow face wasn't entertaining you anymore so you went into the bedroom to ask Bro to fix it. The talk afterwards was awkward and you’re pretty sure you ended up being a cockblock with Bro’s date since she never came back.

Digressing from your original stem of thought, you were sure Bro wouldn't actually give a shit about you liking John, though you weren't actually sure. He had kept asking if you would get a new girlfriend since your previous relationship with Jade.

Your relationship with Jade in the eighth grade was a week long. After inviting her over for years to play Mortal Kombat or some Battlefield 2, you thought you were in love. Bro had pushed you into the direction of asking her out, and you finally did. To your delight she accepted. You held hands and hung out, but nothing much happened. When you braved a small peck on her lips, she pulled away and said that she loved Karter. You were heartbroken for two days until you realized you never really liked Jade in the first place and went back to being close friends with her. But Jade was just the beginning of your girlfriend issues.

Ninth grade you started to realize John was good looking. And the butterflies really hit when you had a sleepover at his house on some random weekend. Scared shitless about the gay feelings you suddenly had for your best bro you looked for a girlfriend. You didn't have to look far to find Theresa, a legally blind girl in your Intro to Art class. It was easy to like her, she was into the same weird stuff you liked and enjoyed your twisted humor. Flaming red hair and sharp pointy features, she had a harsh beauty. She could also see past the walls of irony and see you for who you were. Theresa terrified you and made you fall hard for her. She was definitely a distraction from thinking about the possibility of being gay.

It ended when you decided to have sex with her. After you were laying in bed out of breath, exhausted and thrilled by the events that had just taken place, she blurted out she was cheating on you with Garrett. As she got dressed and you stared out your apartment window you made the startling realization that you weren't hurt at all. You still loved John.

You startle as John’s hand smacks into your face. Looking at John bewildered, apparently he had tried to snap fingers in front of your eyes but you were so entranced you walked right into them.

“You okay man? You were sort just zoning out there.” He looks at you with worry, deep blue eyes against tan skin that makes you want to melt a little.

Clearing your throat, you reply “Yeah, totally chill. Just thinking about life, I guess.” You stop there and look at John. He frowns and shrugs, probably just thinking it’s one of your pensive moods that you usually slip into. It’s hard not to be an artist and brood a little, isn't it?

You end up playing video games at John’s house, with a rousing yet terrifying prank war with his dad. Shaving cream is still crusted in your hair when you get home at eight. It turns into a silent night of procrastination on homework and shameless porn watching before you decide to hit the hay at eleven.

The alarm buzzes at seven to rouse you from a wet dream you didn’t fancy having (it contained John in some interesting roles; ones you didn't really wished your subconscious thought of). You blearily got ready in twenty minutes and walked to school with a stomach full of buttered toast. School ended up being a shitty experience like always, but with less Karter. Apparently he got the stomach bug, which made Jade become a worrywart. Lunch was filled with her frantically texting Karter to make sure he hadn't died in the five minute intervals she checked in on him in.

John ended up walking with Veronica in the courtyard the whole period, so you chatted with Ariana and compared your dead things collection. She showed you a picture of a skull she had recently gotten, and you were pretty jealous of it. Before lunch ended John and Veronica came back; a huge smile plastered on John’s face and a knowing smile on Veronica’s. You gave John a curious look, but the bell rang so you couldn't ask him what was up. The last two hours of the day you forgot about the whole thing and were bombarded with dirty post-it notes and silent laughter.

Rose, Jade, and John meetup at your locker after school. You all had planned to hang out after school today, but you were confronted with bad news.

“I’m sorry Dave, but I _reeeeaaally_ have to make sure Karter’s okay! He’s been puking out his guts today and I’m so worried about him! Maybe next week, ok?” She makes the puppy dog face at you and you begrudgingly let her go with a bear hug. You’re wheezing after she lets go.

“I also have to go. Mother _wants_ to take me cat clothes shopping, and as much as I’d _love_ to stay and hang out, I have to get cat sized versions of Scarlett O’Hara’s dress in _Gone With the Wind_.” She rolls her eyes and sighs, bidding you both a farewell. You look at John to see if he has any excuse to not hang out and smiles at you widely.

“I’m not going to ditch you Dave! I wanna hang at your house today!”

The weather was mild for a spring day in Washington. It was in the 50s with an overcast sky. You walk silently with John and just inhale the clean spring air, making you feel calm and at ease.

“So I’m guessing you were wondering why I was so happy at lunch today.” John finally says, and you suddenly remember the suspicious end to lunch.

“Yeah, I was. Lay it on me Egbert.” You reply smoothly back, keeping the curious and eager tone hidden.

“Well, I asked out Veronica today during lunch! And she said yes!” He says with a burst of enthusiasm.

Your heart literally stops for a second. You freeze and stare at John. He takes a while to realize you had stopped walking and looks back at you with confusion.

“Dave are-- _Are you okay_?” He looks worried, and you would be too if you were him. But you’re not. You’re not him, and you wish you were at the moment. Anyone other than yourself right now because you’re _freaking_ out.

You knew he would find a girlfriend at one point or another. John Egbert was a popular guy. He had charisma, he had good looks, he was on the fucking forensics teams and ran for track and played football. He even was a part of the theater program. So it _shouldn't_ have been a shock to you that he would be dating. But _Veronica_? You wanted to gag.

Veronica Serket was classified as a bad kid. Many people avoided her, and for good reason. She was manipulative and a bully; always making sure that she got what she wanted, no matter what the cost. There were even some rumors that she was responsible for Travis’ accident. The only redeeming factor about her was being friends with John Egbert, a good egg.

But it still didn't make you happy that she was now preying on him. You quickly regain composure and reply with “Yeah dude, I’m fine. Don’t get your fuckin’ undies in a bundle. Everything’s cool over here. Ice cold actually. Alright?”

He smiles a bit and punches your shoulder.

“Okay Dave, just don’t get me so worried! I thought you were like, dying or something!”

You nod, and remain silent. You both walk in silence until he decides to break it again.

“Are you okay with me dating Veronica?”

You practically want to scream no in his face and confess your stupid gay feelings right then and there, but you don’t. You remain calm.

“Dude, it doesn’t matter who I like or don’t like. If you like her, that’s good enough for me.” You reply, strained. He doesn’t seem to notice this and you continue walking.

The walk remains silent until you pass the public park on the way to your apartment. Nudging John, you ask if he wants to hang out there. He agrees happily and challenges you to a race to the swings. You nod and count off from three to go and start sprinting to the swings. He tries to beat you but you win, shouting your victory as you swing through the air. You’ve always been faster at him, even though he’s on the track team.

He pretends to be annoyed, dropping his bag next to yours and sitting in the other swing. But his frowning face turns happy again as he starts swinging. You both swing, laughing and crowing like morons, trying to see who can get higher. He ends up getting the highest and dangerously close to flipping the swing over near the top. You’re both breathing heavily, as you rest on the swings; his tan face is flushed and thoroughly jubilant looking. It makes your heart melt even more and you have the urge to kiss him right then and there, but you remember he has a girlfriend and sadly tuck that thought away.

After you two are silent on the swings he breaks the silence.

“So, the new Captain America movie came out recently, want to go see it with me tomorrow?”

“Well of course I do dude. Who wouldn't want to see the super soldier beat up some bad guys with witty dialogue and hot babes?” Another perfect deadpan which makes John crack up.

“Cool! We could hang at the mall and--”

“ _Heeeeeeeey_ guys.” A long drawn out greeting sounds and you see Veronica walking towards you both. John stands up and walks over to her happily. You remain seated, your stomach dropping at the sight of her. She kisses John passionately and it feels like someone has stabbed you in the heart. You look away. When John returns he has some spit dripping down his face and you feel faint. Veronica stands in front of you guys with a shit eating smirk, making you slightly pissed.

She makes small talk with John while you play on your phone until you hear her say “So, John. Want to go out and see the new Captain America movie with me tonight? I've got tickets!” which makes your head swivel in their direction. John furrows his brows and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Well I _promised_ Dave we’d do that tomorrow.”

Veronica’s smirk is wiped off with a look of annoyance.

“But _Joooooooohn_ , I would like to go out with you on a date!”

John’s about to reply before you cut in. “John it’s fine, we can hang out some other time. Veronica _obviously_ wants to get into your pants and I _can’t_ let my virgin of a friend not get laid.” You manage to choke out.

John flushes deeply because of your comment, which makes your stomach turn because you wished it were under different circumstances. Veronica looks at you weird and you decide you need some space stat.

“Gotta go take a leak.” You say quickly and you hop off the swing and run to the back of the park.

There were thick dark woods ending the park, and rather than using the public restroom you decided to go in the great outdoors. No one was around to catch you anyways. Halfway there, you hear quiet footfalls behind you and you spin around to see Veronica.

You stop to wait until she catches up with you and you walk with her to the back.

“Why are _you_ here?” You ask sharply. She pulls out a cigarette and shrugs.

“Told John I needed to piss as well, but I’m just taking a smoke break.”

You look at her weird and she sighs heavily, as if you knew why she was keeping her smoking from him.

“John doesn't know that I smoke, and I want it to stay that way.”

You snort and undo your pants as you finally reach the bushes. “Isn't he gonna smell the smoke on you and your breath?”

She’s silent for a moment and takes another drag. “I can pass of the smelling like smoke since my mom smokes, and I've got mint gum to hide the smoky taste."

"Like that would work." You reply. She just shrugs.

You finish pissing and zip yourself up. “So why did you really follow me here, Serket?” You interrogate as you turn to her. She’s looking off in the distance, smoking slowly. The wind whips through her light blonde hair filled with faded blue streaks.

“You love him don’t you.” She says lightly. When you don’t reply she continues. “I always thought you were just protective over him since you were friends for so long. But today, I could see the jealousy in your eyes. You hate me for liking him. You blame me for taking him away from you.” Another drag. You shiver because of the wind and the fact she can also see through you. “You’re not happy I’m dating him.”

When she doesn't say anything and continues smoking, you finally speak up. “Yeah, I’m _not_ happy. I _fucking_ love him and it’s hard to love someone who doesn't love you back. And it really _kills_ me to see him with you. You’re not a good person Serket; you’re lying to him and  hiding the shitty person you really are. And I _don’t_ think it’s right.” You sound more passionate than you wanted to and clamp your mouth closed. She continues to be silent, taking long drags on the cigarette.

When she’s finished she drops it to the ground and stamps it out, popping some mint gum in her mouth afterwards. She looks at you with intense cobalt eyes, and speaks.

“I don’t tell John the truth because if I did, he’d hate me. My past is checkered and so is my present, but John is the only good thing I have now. I’m not faking my feelings for him, I really do fucking care about him. I have for a while. And now I feel like I can be a new person with him, a better one.” When she finishes she stares at you for a while. Finally, she turns to walk back to John. You follow slowly behind her, confused and sad.

Your name is Dave Strider and life just got harder.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there AO3! Look who's posting another fic! A terrible one sided fic where Dave is angsty and hormonal, but yeah. School's been crazy and I finally decided to write something that I was thinking about lately. Honestly, I like the idea of where everything isn't hunky dory in the crush world, because there's so many fics out there with so-and-so liking someone, and that person liked them back. I have my lovely and talented friend Lissamel editing for me, so hopefully this fic will actually get somewhere.
> 
> Some of you might actually remember me from "Heartbeat", which I have to apologize for because lately I've been too stressed to write for it. And then this popped up and I was more in the mood to write this than that.
> 
> Anyways, please comment and critique this fic! I really really want to know what I did good or bad in it! Also if there are any errors in it please point them out too! Kudosing and bookmarking is also appreciated! Thanks a bunch and I hope to be posting another chapter soon!  
> ~JaysNarnia


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